


fake it till you feel it

by bythunder



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:34:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21604591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bythunder/pseuds/bythunder
Summary: You send a rich guy an invitation to your wedding, he sends you back a nice, fat check. So what if there's no actual wedding? No harm, no foul.Right?Unless that rich guy happens to be your ex-girlfriend's father, and you might've used the name of your crush on the invitation...
Relationships: Robert Baratheon/Lyanna Stark
Comments: 23
Kudos: 49





	1. the scam

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ayuminb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayuminb/gifts).



It had started out innocent enough. He just needed a few extra bucks, so he could go to games on weekends or take a girl out for a fancy date. Or, hells, just to throw in some money for the rent so Ned would stop bitching at him all the time. Once he was out of school and had a real job, wasn't so gods damn broke all the time, he'd stop.

At least, he _meant_ to stop. But these rich fuckers just made it so _easy_. You just drop a wedding invite in the mail, and, like magic, a check would arrive two weeks later, with an impersonal note of congratulations scrawled in the memo line. Then Robert afford some extra little luxuries, a vacation every now and again. It was a victimless crime, and he always put the money to better use than they would anyway.

Until—

“Robert, long time, no see.”

Cersei Lannister.

“Hey.”

She smiles as she saunters over to him, swing in her hips that draws the eye. Delicious as always. “Something seems different about you,” Cersei says, looking him up and down in a way that sends shivers down his spine. “You’re looking _really_ good.”

“Why does it feel like you’re insulting me?”

Cersei laughs and and puts her hand on his shoulder. “No, really, you’ve always looked great, you know that, but, mmm.” Her hand slides down and squeezes his bicep. Her eyes flutter closed and she lets out a sound somewhere between a purr and a moan. 

“You missing this, Cersei?” He smirks.

“You know me,” she says demurely. “Always wanting what I can’t have.”

“Just ‘cause we broke up doesn’t mean we can’t still fool around, if that’s what you’re after.”

“Oh? Oh, I must’ve been mistaken. I could’ve sworn Father got an invitation to your wedding just the other day.”

“W-what?” Robert chokes on his own surprise. He had completely forgotten he’d sent one of those to Twyin Lannister. He just wanted a little extra something to put down for a motorcycle. Yeah, sure, it was a little risky, trying to scam his ex-girlfriend’s dad, but he never would have done it if he had thought there was a chance in the seventh hell that she would see it. He knows for a fact that each and every Lannister has a horde of servants at their beck and call, they wouldn’t do something as mundane as check their own mail. Robert was sure that some poor overworked secretary would see the invitation and send the check with Tywin’s signature stamped on it. Shit. “Yeah, that’s- that’s right. I’m getting married.”

“I didn’t even know you and Lyanna were going out. I suppose it was only a matter of time though, what girl in her right mind can resist you for long?”

“Seems like I wore her down.” Robert shrugged, tried his best self-effacing smile, though inside he’s cursing. He never should’ve used Lyanna’s name, fucking amateur move. And Cersei and Lyanna, they’re friends. If Cersei asks Lyanna about this, any chance he has of actually getting Lyanna to go out with him, for real, is fucking gone. She’ll think he’s desperate, delusional, creepy… 

“Well, congratulations. Never thought I’d see the day you got tied down.”

“Oh, you- you don’t have to come to the wedding. I really only sent your dad an invitation because, you know, our dads were close, it felt polite. But- but really, it’s just, a small thing. Family and close friends. Don’t—”

Cersei puts a hand to her heart. “That’s so sweet, I’m one of your closest friends? I am touched, Robert, truly. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” She throws an arm around his neck and presses a kiss to his cheek, an unnaturally sweet gesture that sends a cold chill down his spine.

He is well and truly _fucked._

* * *

> [ **Robert Baratheon** : u home? i need to see you asap. emergency]

Lyanna rolled her eyes and turned her phone facedown, not buying into whatever drama Robert had found himself in. If he's so desperate, he should just call Ned. So what if Ned was married now? That didn't break up their bromance, and it didn't mean it was her responsibility to take up the mantle of Stark-In-Charge-Of-Robert. 

But whatever it was, he was not letting it go. Her phone kept chirping and buzzing and ringing until finally, exasperated, she couldn’t ignore it anymore. She swipes to unlock her phone and answers with a very unfriendly, “What!”

“Are you home right now?” comes his voice through the phone, sounding ragged and out of breath. 

“Gods, Robert, what do you want now?” 

“I- I can’t explain this over the phone, are you home?”

“What the fu- Yeah, yeah, I’m home.”

“Great.” Without any further explanation, or waiting for an invitation, he hangs up the phone, and is barging through her front door. He must’ve been calling from just outside. Lyanna groans, extra loud, to make certain he heard it, let him know how irritating he is being right now.

“What is your emergency, Robert? Why couldn’t you call Ned?”

“Can you— sit or something?”

“Okay, you’re starting to freak me out. What happened?”

He grips her by the shoulders and shoves her down on the couch, forcing her to sit while he paces anxiously in front of the coffee table, like a caged animal at the zoo. 

“Spit it out already!”

“Cersei Lannister thinks we’re engaged.”

“What!”

“And she’s coming to the wedding.”

“What the— the _FUCK,_ Robert?! How- _Why_ does she think that?”

“Because, I might have— sent her father a wedding invitation.”

“To our wedding?”

“Yes.”

“I repeat; what the fuck!”

“It’s a scam!” He confesses loudly. “It’s just— a thing I do for some extra money.”

“Invite people to our non-existent wedding?”

“Yes. It’s— You send rich assholes a wedding invitation and most of the time, they just send you some money as a gift without ever even checking the names. Total strangers.”

“Except _not_ total strangers, because you sent one to Cersei Lannister!”

“ _To her father!”_ He defends, though he seems to recognize what a shit argument it is even as he says it. “I swear, I never thought she’d see it. I didn’t even think Tywin would, you know how Tywin is.”

“Why the hell would you use my name though! Couldn’t you make one up!”

“I used to.”

“Used to what?”

“Make up other girls names, to be my fake fiancée.” 

“And some reason, that stopped working for you?”

Robert groans and flops on the couch beside her, his face hidden behind his hands. “Listen, Lyanna, I know you know I like you, okay? I haven’t been very shy about that. I just reached this point where— Fuck me, okay, just— whenever I thought about my wedding, even a fake one that didn’t even fucking matter, I just… you’re the only person I could think about calling my wife, and so, yeah, okay, I’ve used your name a few times, but really, I never meant any fucking harm, you never even knew about it, and if I hadn’t fucked up, you still wouldn’t know, so, just, don’t kill me for it, alright?”

“You know how absolutely creepy that is, right?”

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Like, really, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Gods, I wish I knew.”

Lyanna has to sit back a moment to process all this, a million questions running through her head all at once and she can’t settle on what to ask first. There is one thing she _can_ settle on though, and that’s punching Robert in the arm, as hard as she can. 

“Ow, what the— Okay, okay, I deserve that.”

“No shit.” She closes her eyes and rests her head on the back of the couch; she can feel the headache coming on, just behind her eyes. She does _not_ need this right now. Why are men _so stupid?_ “How- exactly _how_ _many_ times did you use my name for this scam of yours?”

He blinks, seems like her question caught him by surprise. He hums as he thinks it over, not a good sign. “I don’t remember. A few. Five, six. Somewhere around there.”

“Five or six? You’ve stolen money from people, _using my name_ , five or six times?!”

“It’s not stealing! I did not _steal_ anything!”

“You admit it’s a scam though. Getting people to give you money under false pretenses? How is that different than theft?”

“It just is. Really, there’s nothing wrong about it, it’s not like I’m extorting anyone. They don’t _have_ to give me cash, but they do.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, thief.” And then another thought comes to her, something else she needs to know. “...how much do you usually make off doing this?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

"I don't know, a few thousand?"

“A few thousand, for the cost of a wedding invitation.” It’s actually quite clever, she must admit. Not that she would ever, not unless she was desperate, but, it is a stroke of genius. “A few thousand per invitation. And you’ve used my name five or six times. I think that legally entitles me to half your gains.”

“How do you figure?”

“Well, _husband_ ,” Lyanna says, smirking as his eyes go wide, jaw drops, “What’s yours is mine, right?”

A grin slowly spreads across his face, replacing the shock that colored it a moment ago. “So you’re in on this?”

Lyanna shakes her head. “No way am I going to help you convince Cersei we’re getting married, that’s insane. You gotta chalk this one up as a loss. I just want what I’m owed, back pay.”

“But—”

“But nothing. Seriously, what is your plan here? Throw an entire fake wedding just to fool one person, to get, what, enough money to make up a quarter the cost it would take to throw a fake wedding in the first place? Even as dumb as you are, you know that doesn’t make any sense at all. Absolutely none.”

“I know. I know I should have corrected her, should’ve admitted it was a lie, but, fuck, she caught me offguard and I just- reacted.”

“Your gut reaction is to lie to Cersei?”

“Well, yeah. Always has been. How do you think we managed to date for a year and a half?”

Lyanna gags. “Don’t remind me.”

“I’m sorry, Lyanna. I know I’m a royal dumbass. I wanted to tell you, before Cersei got to you. I thought it’d be better if I told you myself.”

“It’d be better if you’d never have used my name at all, Royal Dumbass.”

“I know. I’ll— I’m going to tell Cersei I lied, clear this up. Just rip off that fucking bandaid and—”

Lyanna doesn’t hear the end of that sentence though. Her phone buzzes against her hip and she’s quick to pull it out, to see who’s texting her now.

> [ **Cersei Lannister** : Wanted to congratulate you on your big news!!! You’re getting a good one]
> 
> [ **Cersei Lannister** : I should know ;) ]

And something inside her _snaps_ . The way Cersei always manages to make her snap. Feeling like they’re twelve again, when Cersei showed up to school after summer vacation wearing a bra (and not just the flat training bras Lyanna was wearing) and a face full of make-up. That was the year that suddenly, everything started feeling like a competition between them. Grades, sports, _boys_ . Another vivid memory assaults her, junior year of high school, prom. The burning jealousy when Cersei asked Elbert Arryn to the dance, _knowing_ that Lyanna liked him first. The utter humiliation when Cersei suggested Jaime accompany Lyanna, because, ‘It would be just too sad for you to go alone.’ A pity date. Jaime didn’t even _try_ , just sat there all night, watching Cersei dance with _Lyanna’s_ crush. By the time they crowned Cersei Prom Queen, Lyanna couldn’t stand it anymore. She ditched Jaime and walked home, miserable enough to cry. She’d lost. Again.

But this time, she wasn’t the loser. Cersei isn’t even in a relationship right now, is ages away from getting married. And Robert’s a fucking _catch_ . He may be a pain in the ass, but gods be good, he’s a looker. Truly, a trophy husband. Not to mention, Cersei’s ex. Normally, Lyanna counts that against him. Any man who fell for Cersei, _well_ , it was obvious why they were attracted, and Lyanna doesn’t hold those same _charms_ . That aside, she has no interest in Cersei’s leftovers, used and discarded when she gets bored. But in this case, this petty, spiteful, randomly concocted scenario, it might actually be a good thing, because he’s not like all of Cersei’s other boyfriends. No, he is the _one_ man who ever dared to dump Cersei Lannister, the only one she couldn’t sink her claws into. The one that got away. The perfect one-up. And that’s what makes her do it.

She grabs Robert by the shirt collar, pulling him down so that she can plant a kiss on his cheek as she snaps a photo. He’s startled, the expression he’s making in the picture shows that clearly, but somehow, he’s smiling too? His eyes are drawn to her, and one arm found its way around her waist just in time. It was candid, for certain, but sweet as well, they _looked_ like a happy couple. And that’s all she needed. _Send._

> [ **Lyanna Stark** : thx cers! can’t even BEGIN to tell you how excited we are!!! 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞]

“What the hell was that!”

“Cersei doesn’t get to win, not this time.”

“Win? Lyanna, you’ve lost me.”

“Robert Baratheon, we’re getting married.”


	2. the backstory

Robert doesn’t know what the hell is going on with Lyanna, what happened to make her change her mind so fast. But he recognized that spark in her eye, that stubbornness that’s so very Stark, the burning air of competition that simply  _ radiated  _ off her. He ought to shut this down, right away, she was right, a fake wedding? That is insane. 

But Lyanna had kissed him. Only on the cheek, but  _ gods _ . He really is in it deep, if something as simple as a peck from her would set him on fire, made his brain go to mush and sent all rationality right out the window. 

  
And so he agreed.

“Okay, since we’re ‘engaged’ now, you should probably start calling me Lya.” She’s sitting crosslegged on his sofa, computer in her lap as she takes notes, figuring out how they’re to plan an entire wedding in only three months, and they have to make it convincing. Robert had suggested at first that they just do a quick courthouse thing. He’s got a friend over there, he’s sure he could get him to play along. But Lyanna,  _ Lya _ , shut that down quickly. 

“If we do that, Cersei will know we’re trying to pull something over on her, and if she knows, she’ll tell Mr. Lannister and we won’t see a dime. No, we have to make it look  _ real _ .”

“Then I guess you should wear this.” He gets on one knee before her — _ stupid, you’re not really proposing _ — and pulls out a ring. It had been the same one his father gave to his mother when he proposed, and the same that Grandpa Ormund used when he asked Grandma Rhaelle to marry him, and on and on for more generations than he even knows. Nothing more says ‘real’ like a family heirloom. 

Lyanna’s eyes go wide, too surprised to react, she just stares at it, and Robert’s starting to think he might’ve made a mistake. He should’ve just got a cheap ring from the mall with a fake diamond. Gods, why- why did he do that? Why did he ask Mom for her ring? It was  _ too  _ real, and this- this is just pretend, just a scam. 

He’s just about to pull it back, laugh it off like some big joke, then maybe go choke on his own embarrassment, but just as his closes his hand around the ring, Lyanna reaches for it, her soft hands prying his fingers open. She runs her thumb over the onyx stone, traces the gold band, she slips it on her index finger so she can take a closer look. Robert smiles as he watches her, the pure look of innocent wonder of her face, it tugs at his heartstrings. “You know that’s not the finger that it goes on, right? May I?”

She nods for him and he slides the ring up her ring finger and— a perfect fit. Like it was made for her slim finger. Rationally, he knows it just means that Lyanna wears the same ring size as his mother, but tell that to his dumb, lovestruck heart, screaming that it’s a sign, that this is  _ meant to be _ , Lya was meant to have this ring, and— He presses a kiss to the ring, a stupid gesture, he thought it’d be romantic, but no, it’s stupid and it leaves him embarrassed and blushing, but when he looks up, expecting to see a look of disgust on her face, instead he finds her blushing as well, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips.  _ Gods, can I kiss those lips? _ ...Yes, as a matter of fact, he can. Not now, not yet. But if they have to make it look legitimate, like they’re really in love, then… 

“It’s beautiful, Robert. Thank you.” She brings her left hand up to her chest, curled close to her heart. “I- I’ll be sure to give it back, after—”

“But it’s yours for now.”

She nods, her smile spreading wider. But only for a moment, it soon falters, worry chasing it away. “How am I going to explain this to my parents?”

“We’ll do it together, if you think that would help. Pose a united front.” Like husband and wife, a team. But he holds his tongue, can’t afford to embarrass himself again, or scare her off with his ridiculous  _ feelings _ . 

“We’d- we have to get our stories straight. They’re going to ask how this happened, I mean, it’s not like we’ve been dating.”

Oh, how Robert wished they had. “We have been, though. But we were keeping it to ourselves, because— because there’s just too much pressure, we’ve known each other a long time, our families are close. We wanted to figure out what was really going on between us before inviting everyone in.”

Lya nods. “Okay, yeah. That makes sense. When did it all start then?” She asks, fingers skimming across the keyboard as she starts taking notes.

“A year ago?” Lyanna nods, so he continues. “We shared a dance at Ned’s wedding. It’ll be believable because it’s true, we did. I told you how incredibly beautiful you were that night. And I’ve told you every day since then.” At least, he’s thought it every day since then. She is beautiful. The most lovely creature he’s ever seen. If she really were his, he’d make sure she’d never doubt it for a second. “You caught Cat’s bouquet, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Let’s go from there. You weren’t dating anyone at the time, right?” 

“No, I haven’t dated anyone since Howland and that was… Gods, sophomore year of college.”

“Perfect.”

“Why is that perfect? Honestly, it’s a little depressing.” 

“It’s perfect because tradition says catching the bouquet means you’ll be the next one down the aisle. So you came back to the table we were sitting at and laughed about that. How on earth could you be the next one married when there hadn’t been anyone in a while. And I told you that any man in the world would be  _ lucky _ to have you on his arm. I’d said I’d marry you myself if every other man in the world was too blind to see what a catch you are.” 

Lyanna’s blushing again, it’s working. And that, it makes him bold, bold enough to be reckless, to dare for a little more. Robert leaves his spot in his armchair and nudges her over, settles on the couch beside her. And Lyanna allows it. They sit side by side. Even this, something so small, being close enough for her thigh to brush his, for him to catch a whiff of her shampoo… 

He’s never had much of an imagination, never been great with words, but this is  _ Lyanna _ , this is the life they could have had,  _ should have had _ , and he continues. “I guess I must have won you over that night, because we started dating not long after that. First date was bowling and beer, and you know how competitive we both are, we ended up playing a dozen games or so, each of us trying to beat the other. But by the end of the night, we were both too drunk to keep score, so we gave up. Went out to dinner at midnight to sober up a bit before we each went home. You texted me the next morning, accusing me of getting you drunk on purpose so I’d win, and blaming me for your hangover. Even though I definitely had it worse than you did, believe me.” He’s encouraged by Lya’s laugh. “We fell into it pretty fast after that. You were still in school, so we made do with long distance, texting, phone calls, video chats. I’d come up to see you when I could. But no matter what, we always found a way to talk every day, even if it was just a ‘good morning’ or ‘good night’. And then you graduated and came back home. And that’s when I proposed to you. You didn’t say yes right away, but that was okay, because… Because I’d wait forever for you.”

“But I did say yes,” Lyanna picks up the tale, which is good, because suddenly, he’s got this lump in his throat, he’s not sure he’d be able to keep going. “The very next day, I said yes. And- and we still didn’t tell anyone because, because planning a wedding is stressful and we wanted to do it our way, I didn’t want to have to worry about Grandma Marna complaining about the flowers or Dad insisting on inviting all his business friends. It was something just for us, because that’s what weddings should be. Just for us. And- and now it’s finally time. We can’t keep it to ourselves anymore. We’ve got to invite everyone back into our lives, let them celebrate with us, because we- we’re so happy together.”

Robert nods. “That’s right. We are.”

Lyanna looks down at her ring, looking faraway and fond. “That all sounds just perfect, Robert. No wonder I fell in love with you.”

And that saps Robert back to reality, because she’s not in love with him. And that wonderful relationship he just described, none of it was real. Just like this wedding of theirs. A charade. He’ll have to mind himself, because  _ Robert Baratheon, you are walking a dangerous road. _ How is he going to get through this without getting his heart broken?

Lyanna sighs as she finishes typing up her notes, a script to refer back to, lines to memorize when people inevitably ask for their story. “I think I can sell that story to my parents.” 

“When-” Robert swallows thickly, tries not to let on what he’s feeling. “When are we going to break the news?”

“The sooner, the better, don’t you think? Wouldn’t want them to find out from someone else.”

“So… tonight?”

Lya bites her lip and shakes her head. “I’m not ready, not yet. Tomorrow. I’ll call them and we’ll do a family dinner tomorrow.”


End file.
